i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
