White coat. Heels.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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