I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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