Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
