He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
