Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
