Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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