Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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