wat bout pragnant strippers??
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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