Welp...herpes.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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