Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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