the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
