Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You ruined the universe
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
