btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
