I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
