He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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