Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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