what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
