my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
