I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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