If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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