hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
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