You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
