my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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