So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
