What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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