You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
