My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
