Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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