totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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