i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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