one word: firstdatebathroomanal
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
