I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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