it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Still dying that you shit outside
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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