Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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