Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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