Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize