i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
