Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
