I skipped work to stalk him.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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