This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
