he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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