Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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