The brown eye won't let me do that either.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
