Already got asked if we're dating
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
you are never too drunk for berry picking
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
