Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You took a bar mat shot.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
