ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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