If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
