If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
