I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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