What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Screwed.edu
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
