Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
BRING THE BAGELS
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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