Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
