Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
